Australia's Royal Dilemma: Charles III, Monarchy or Republic?

Ah, Australia—land of sunburnt beaches, kangaroos, and an unhealthy obsession with a monarchy that’s about as relevant as a floppy disk. With King Charles III swinging by for a few days on his way to a Commonwealth meeting in Samoa, the question on everyone’s lips is, are we still okay with this royal crap?

What’s the Royal Deal?

So, our dear King Charles graced us with his presence. Some might say "joy to the world,” while others roll their eyes so hard you’d think they were trying to read the fine print on the monarchy’s absurd costs. The Guardian recently raised a question that’s been echoing in Aussie hearts: would Australia pay the billion-dollar annual cost of our monarchy? Spoiler alert: hell no!

Charles is Not My Darling!

In a deliciously cheeky column titled 'Charles is not my darling!', Coffin Ed from City Hub Sydney made it perfectly clear that not everyone is rolling out the red carpet for His Highness. You know it’s serious when even the local columnists get involved. They’re not just here for the free tea and crumpets.

The Editorial Divide

But wait, there’s more! Over at The Nightly, the editorial staff boldly declared that for most Australians, severing ties with the British monarchy isn’t exactly top of mind. I mean, who has time to worry about a royal family when you’re dealing with crushing housing prices and the latest avocado toast crisis?

The Republican Cause: A Distant Dream?

While the royal fanfare unfolds, the republican movement seems more like a distant dream than an impending reality. A post-Queen Elizabeth II world was supposed to ignite the flames of change, but as The Australian pointed out, the republicans are still waiting for their moment in the sun. The Queen kicked the bucket, and yet, here we are, still stuck in limbo, sipping our flat whites and contemplating our choices.

Star Power vs. Republican Dreams

In a recent podcast, Mike and Gerard Henderson discussed how the star power of the monarchy is currently outshining the republican cause. Let’s face it, who can compete with royal pageantry? Not the average Aussie, that’s for sure!

Tony Abbott Weighs In

And just when you thought this royal rodeo couldn’t get any more ridiculous, former Prime Minister Tony Abbott threw his two cents into the mix. In an exclusive with Herald Sun, he argued that our ties to the British monarchy are more crucial than ever. You know, because nothing says “independence” like a constitutional monarchy.

The Royal Tour: A Mixed Bag

Meanwhile, King Charles III and Queen Camilla are on a nine-day royal tour, hoping to charm the socks off us Aussies. But does anyone else feel like we’re just being played for an audience? As GB News pointed out, it’s their first visit since they became reigning monarchs. Are we really that starved for royal attention?

Conclusion: Where Do We Go From Here?

So, what’s the verdict? Are we stepping towards the republic or clinging to our monarchy like a bad Tinder date? With the current royal visit, it’s a classic case of “What the hell do we want?” Australians love a good debate, and this one’s not going away anytime soon. As we sip our flat whites and scroll through social media, let’s keep the conversation alive.

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